People often ask how we keep ourselves motivated and driven on the ocean rowing boat. More so, how do we effectively deal with one another to ensure our team operates effectively and enjoyably.
I plan to write a series of blogs outlining the tools and philosophies we embrace on this boat to ensure our interpersonal relationships and individual morale stay manageable, and will post them over the coming days. Today, though, is about Positive Realism.
I believe in the principles of positive realism. Simply put: It’s OK not to be OK. However, its not OK to not be OK with not being OK… Maybe thats a bit complicated. Let’s try writing the idea differently: Don’t be depressed about being depressed. Dreading your emotional state just compounds the problem. Resolve to be OK with your depression and realize that This Too Shall Pass.
Positive realism acknowledges that you cannot be chipper all the time. Yes. You are allowed to be miserable. However, it is not OK to let your misery bring others down. How? Communicate your pain with self deprecating humor. Commiserate with other miserable people (which can often make you feel better). Don’t take yourself too seriously, and you will build rapport, support and camaraderie among the group. Your mood will soon change.
Positive Realism has been a great tool for me and my teammates on the Ocean, and will continue to be helpful as we pursue our careers and relationships post-row.
To finish, I would like to overview Positive Realism. I like to break it into four stages: making change, tolerance, acceptance, joyful engagement. I believe we can all exist in these four states, almost all the time. (We are all human, after all).
- Making Change: You are actively searching for a solution to your misery, and taking regular action to improve your lot. You have the energy to make the situation better and embrace a solutions-based mindset. OPPOSITE = Constant complaining without action. Anxiousness.
- Tolerance: This is the lowest energy stage of positive realism. You are simply OK with not being OK. OPPOSITE = Intolerance. Dreading the moment. Depression.
- Acceptance: You are OK with what is happening. You support the situation. You can easily go with the flow, but do not have a lot of energy to drive forward. OPPOSITE = You are an Energy Vampire, and suck the drive away from others.
- Joyful Engagement: You love the present moment. Your energy is infectious. You raise the mood of the group. OPPOSITE = Your high energy is seen as hyper and ADHD, and this energy is forcibly imposed upon others without consideration of their present state.
Stay tuned for more tools and philosophies we use to keep from killing each other on a small rowboat in the middle of the Atlantic Ocean!