[Excerpt from Adam’s diary after 3 weeks of storms, two broken oars, and a shorted wind generator. Cold, wet and slow, the crew morale was at an all-time low. Weather changed two days later, bringing a much needed infusion of hope.]
It amazes me how much time I spend on this boat thinking about the time I will get off the boat, thinking about the events that will occur post-row. Thinking of meeting Jefferson and Becca on the beach brings a lump in my throat and water to my eyes. 23 days into the journey and Miami feels so far away.
I prepped myself for this journey with a simple mantra: “Enjoy Every Moment.“ Sigh. Thrilled enjoyment is not possible right now. Acceptance and tolerance seem more manageable this moment. I can tolerate this, I suppose. I’m okay not being okay.
For sure, there are many moments that are gorgeous and undeniably incredible out here. Conversely, there are also many moments that are miserable, uncomfortable and fearful. Stress adds up slowly and consistently, like water from a dripping faucet wearing away a granite counter-top.
Questions: Are the sunrises, camaraderie and abundant wildlife worth the back pain, tendinitis, sores and blisters? Is the peace of rowing under a calm, moonlit sky worth the deathly fear experienced in strong gales and crushing waves? Is the lack of enjoyment now worth the long-term benefits?? Deeper understanding of nature? Appreciation of modern conveniences? More character to weather the storms of the modern world?
I met a taxi driver once who wanted to talk about the meaning of life as we drove to our destination. “Suffering creates meaning” he said with his brown eyes glistening. “Without suffering we will never fully appreciate the pearls we have in our lives.”
Adventure is a powerful medicine and it can break you. However, if you can tolerate its taste and accept the suffering, fear, and misery, you will gain pearls of wisdom and a strength of spirit that will last the ages.
I need to remind myself that we learn the most from our challenges. Misery can be a valuable teacher.
After all. Its okay not being okay. And I’m okay with that.